Find Time for Mom
We have all been there. Those crazy days when a shower is just not in the cards, your outfit is sweatpants and a t-shirt, hair is styled into a messy ponytail. Meals consist of eating what your kids have left over, exercise is picking up a mountain of laundry and relaxation is falling asleep in your kid’s toddler bed. Logically we all know self-care is important, but why is it so hard for moms to find the time to take care of themselves? Why do we feel racked with guilt at the thought of doing something just for ourselves? Perhaps society has programed us to feel that we need to be 100% present in our children’s lives to be the best possible mothers. Let go of that guilt! It’s not possible or even helpful to do everything, always for our children. It’s like that airplane safety analog- put on your oxygen mask first. You cannot be the best possible mom if you don’t make the time to be the best possible you!
Our sense of self is complex. We are not just a mom, wife, daughter. We have passions, friendships, interests that make us who we are. Losing our sense of self can lead to depression and anxiety. And depression obviously impacts our children in a negative way. Happy parents have happy children! When we are fulfilled, feeling healthy both physically and mentally, we have more patience. When we have more patience, it is easier for us to deal with cranky kids. Being calm is contagious! Soon our kids will have less tantrums. Taking care of ourselves actually helps improve our children’s behavior!
Most moms are super focused on their kids’ diet, sleep schedule and physical activity. What about your own? It’s equally important for you to eat healthily, sleep well and get some exercise. And the benefit is more than just physical. When we eat well, get a good night’s sleep and move around more, we feel happier. So how do we make these basic necessities happen for us?
Tips for healthy eating:
Eat three meals a day, sitting down
Avoid picking the scraps off your children’s plates. Throw it right into the trash.
Include fruits and/or vegetables with each meal. Have fruits/vegetables prewashed, sliced and ready to grab.
Include lean proteins with each meal. Easy to prepare proteins include hard boiled eggs, canned tuna, cottage cheese, yogurt, lean sliced turkey.
Have a large water bottle near you throughout the day to encourage drinking lots of water.
Don’t snack on your kids’ snacks. Have Mommy snacks, like nuts, dried fruits, and veggies dipped in humus.
Tips for getting a good night’s sleep:
Aim for at least 8 hours of sleep a night.
Have a consistent bedtime, nighttime routine for yourself and wake up time.
Avoid screens (TV, phones, computers, iPads), caffeine, food, and exercise for at least one hour before bedtime.
Baths, lavender, massage, and Melatonin can help us fall asleep if we are struggling.
Reading in a dim lit bedroom makes our eyes tired and helps us fall asleep.
If you wake up during the night and have trouble falling back to sleep, try repeating your bedtime routine.
Tips for adding exercise to your day:
Schedule at least 30 minutes of exercise 4-6 times a week. Plan ahead and make it a priority.
Do what you enjoy! Don’t start jogging if that’s not your thing. You are less likely to keep it up.
Walking counts! A brisk 30-minute walk is an excellent source of exercise.
Download an exercise App or search Amazon TV for exercise classes that you enjoy.
Moms encourage our children to cultivate friendships and pursue hobbies and interests to help our children build self-confidence and a sense of self. Let’s set the example! Show your children that you care about your friends, your passions and pursuing your sense of self. How to find the time? Here are some tips.
Connect with one important person in your life each day, by phone or text or email. It doesn’t have to be an hour-long phone call. Just reaching out will make you feel good. Make a list each week of the seven people you will reach out to.
Arrange a “play date” for yourself once a week. It can be a quick cup of coffee, or a stroller walk together in the park. Zoom visits count as long as you have alone time to focus on the friend.
Do one little thing for yourself each day. Write in a journal, do some virtual shopping for yourself, add essential oil to your shower to feel like you’re in a spa!
Do one self-indulgent activity for yourself once a week. It could be a manicure, bubble bath, date night. Make a wish list and check it off as you go!
Cultivate a hobby. It could be a new one or a long-forgotten favorite. Try to devote time to your hobby once a week.
Remember, it’s not selfish to do things just for yourself. It’s essential! Not only will it make you a happier, healthier person, it will make you a happier, healthier mom and that will make your children proud of you!