Coping with a COVID school year

The new school year. Thoughts of September conjure up memories of bright yellow school buses whisking bored kids away and back to the school year routine, new sneakers and backpacks, worries over which friends will be in their class, will they make the traveling soccer team, Staples runs to procure the school supply list and trips to Costco to get lunch box essentials. It seems like a dream, a memory from a novel once read. How different this September is for everyone, for parents, for teachers and especially for children. We all thrive on routine, knowing what to expect. It helps keep us grounded and in control. For children especially, this new norm is unsettling. Whether remote learning full time or doing a hybrid of in school and remote, the normal September has been thrown into disarray and understandably can lead to increased anxiety, a sense of a loss of control and uncertainty of what is expected of them.

So how do we as adults cope and equally important, help our children to cope with this new normal? The first step is to take care of yourself! Children are keen at sensing and responding to stress in their parents. If a parent feels anxious about the situation the child will feel anxious as well.  Are you worried that your child will not succeed at remote learning? If they sense that worry it will set them up to not succeed. It is important to identify your concerns and come up with a strategy to address them, but not to share them with your child.  You should be honest with your child if they ask questions or have concerns themselves.  Your answers should be fact driven and reassuring. Tell them about the plan. For instance, if your child is worried about getting sick from Covid, explain to them that masks, social distancing and frequent hand washing are really effective at keeping the virus away and that it is really uncommon for kids to get sick. 

Addressing your own stress is extremely important. As I stated above when you feel stressed your children will as well.  Make sure you are sticking to a routine, eating three meals a day, making time for exercise on a regular basis and getting a good night’s sleep.  Take a break from doom scrolling- reading every story on your news feed or watching the news, especially in front of your kids. Take time for yourself to connect with a friend, have a date night with your partner or pursue a hobby. Most importantly if the anxiety you feel is overwhelming and interfering with your ability to perform normal tasks seek out professional help. 

To help your children feel more in control over this very atypical school year it is important to come up with a daily routine. Have your child help create the schedule with you. This will give them a sense of control. I suggest creating a weekly calendar which is especially helpful for hybrid schooling when each day may be different.  Wake up and breakfast as well as bedtime should be at the same time each weekday. Children who are learning remotely should get dressed and washed up each morning as they did during a normal school year. Have them plan the lunch menu the night before and/or their clothing choice if that is something you typically did with them in the past. Try to make breaks similar to breaks at school. Although there may be no typical recess this year, create a recess where they can play outdoors after lunch or FaceTime with a friend. At the end of the school day allow them to have at least thirty minutes of downtime before beginning their homework. 

Create a at home “classroom” for your child. Ideally pick a room that is not their bedroom (who wants to spend all day and night in the same room?) and is as quiet and distraction free as possible. Some suggestions are the dining room or moving a desk into a formal living room. Have a supply box on hand with all the tools needed for your student to complete their work- pencils, crayons, scissors, glue, etc.. If it is all in one place there will be no wandering around looking for something.  Encourage your child to help create the space. Perhaps if your budget allows you can have them pick out a desk lamp, folder bins or other items to make their “classroom” feel unique.  Keep distractions away! This means no cellphones, no social media apps on their computers, no music playing in the background ( yes, music is distracting) and ideally no siblings sitting nearby throwing spit balls at them!  If at all possible, it’s a great idea to have a separate space for different classes.  For instance, perhaps they can move to the kitchen for art class, the basement for gym or a beanbag chair for reading. 

Keeping their lives as “normal” as possible is as important for them as it is for you. Good nutrition, a good night’s sleep, exercise, outdoor time, time with friends  and pursuing hobbies are essential and need to be a part of their weekly routine. Extra hugs go a long way at reassuring your children that everything will be okay. There will be challenges. You will lose patience; your children will act out. When you are feeling overwhelmed, I suggest the reverse time out. Give yourself a time out. Go into your bedroom, lock the door, take a deep breath and regroup. When your child is overwhelmed it is important to stay calm, try to redirect bad behavior, have them take a break. Be sure to direct more attention to good behaviors than bad behaviors and always acknowledge their feelings and how difficult this new normal is for them.  This school year is certainly like no other, but with a little creativity, a little luck and lots of extra love we will all get through it and be successful!